Rather than be productive with my down time and actually finish cutting my wedding processional music or finishing my bridesmaids’ gifts, I’m preparing to release my pre-wedding stress, frustration and joy into the familiar, comforting void of the Internet. If you’d rather not read the unnecessarily dramatic complaints of a spoiled, incredibly blessed bride in the days before her wedding, I recommend you spend your time doing something more useful, like drinking chocolate soymilk or combing your eyebrows.
First of all, the fun, happy, good things that happened, are happening or will happen this week: Graham and I arrived in Ohio (albeit seperately) without a glitch, we got our marriage license with no problems and spent a lot of time enjoying the company and fellowship of his family and our other friends in Ohio. (Thanks to everyone who prayed!) I used to be really flippant and snobbish about small town life, but it’s really started to grow on me. I love that everyone in Graham’s home town knows each other and that it’s no big deal to just wander into the neighbor’s house for a chat. I adore the fresh, clean air and gorgeous trees, valleys and rivers and the unique craftsman houses in the woods. I never thought I’d say this, but I can definitely imagine living somewhere cute and rural someday. Preferably nothing too suburban, too lame or too far away from a large city. A part of me will always be a city girl.
After so long in a liberal urban enclave, it’s also refreshing to be in a house surrounded by people with whom I share similar values and convictions. There’s something comforting about staying in a place where there’s a Bible in every room, Pslams taped to the refridgerator and Creationism magazines in the bathroom. I love the routine of a large family gathering around the table to say grace before a meal; I love the fact that my sister wore a shirt today that sports dualistic images of Heaven and Hell along with a “Where will you go?” message. My friend, Hayley, and I discovered that we find the sound of Rush Limbaugh’s voice comforting because it reminds us of our childhoods. We also spent a good 15 minutes today reminiscing over a teen Christian girl’s magazine we both used to read. It made me remember that I’m not the only conservative Christian girl in the world and that it’s ok to like, believe in gender roles and Jesus and stuff. I’ve also spent a lot of time getting to know Graham’s family who are possibly the coolest bunch of people in the world. I can’t believe how blessed I am. It blows my mind. People are bending over backwards to help us, without even being asked, donating their time and money and whatever else they have to make our wedding special and it’s completely amazing. Two of my bridesmaids, Leah and Amanda arrived today and with them, brought an abundance of support, love and uncanny ability to make me laugh.
Things that aren’t going so well: Now that I wrote about all the good stuff, I can’t remember most of the bad stuff. It sounds corny, but it’s kind of true. Mostly, its just that I suck at arts & crafts. I feel like putting together a wedding is a lot like putting together a craft project. Thus, I lack the same skills in wedding planning that I lacked in arts & crafts during church summer camp. I can imagine what I want things to look like, but have a hard time with the fine motor skills and decisive aggressiveness required to make my visions reality. I don’t know what I want half the time and when I do, I have a hard time expressing my desires in such a way that actually . . . makes sense. Then, I end up giving in to other people’s suggestions just because it’s easier. Then I get frustrated and dont want to hurt people’s feelings, but also want things done the way I envision. Plus, I’m upset that a lot of my close friends won’t be here and that several people who will be here, won’t be happy about it. Have I mentioned that my mom stresses me out, too? (Mom, if you’re reading this, I love you and you’re awesome for doing all of this, but it’s true.)
Whinefest complete. Tomorrow we have a breakfast meeting with the pastor at an unholy hour after which Graham embarks on his all day Bachelor party while I get my hair cut, my eyebrows painfully waxed, plucked and otherwise made painfully beautiful and bring the cake topper to the bakery. At some point tomorrow, we will also shop for food for the reception and otherwise plan for the next two days. My bachelorette party is tomorrow night and as far as I know the plan is to drink lots of tea, consume lots of chocolate, make wedding night jokes that make everyone uncomfortable and watch animated movie musicals.
Thanks for the prayers and support! If I won’t see you this weekend “IRL” look for a post-wedding post in the next two weeks.
I’M GETTING MARRIED.