Things I Am Supposed to Enjoy, But Don’t

    You know how there are things you are just supposed to enjoy as a human being? I half expect to check the definition of “human being” in the Oxford English Dictionary and read something like, “n. A member of the human species as distinguished from animals. Enjoys food, beverage and playing Monopoly on Sunday evenings.”

     But what if you hate monopoly? Are you a little bit less human because of it? Is it right to assume that because 80% of people enjoy a board game, that everyone should enjoy a board game? There are a great number of things I’m supposed to like as a homosapien residing in the Western hemisphere that I just . . . don’t.  Though I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out why I don’t like these things, I recently realized that maybe it’s just because I don’t like them. I mean, it could also mean that I’m an alien child from a different solar system adopted by human beings and forced to assimilate into earthly society as part of a massive social experiment conducted by the Canadian government, but I’m not really that cool. 

Things I should like, but don’t:

  • Monopoly
  • Arcades
  • Video Games (Including arcade games, guitar hero, mario, anything.)
  • Miniature golf
  • Board games involving fake money or real estate or warfare
  • The majority of movies with spectacular special effects
  • Thrillers (The movie kind. I like some thriller novels.
  • The Lord of the Rings
  • Star Wars
  • Cheese
  • Television Dramas
  • Graphic novels/comic books
  • Riding a bike
  • Alcohol 
  • Fantasy novels with characters whose names contain no vowels. 
  • Rich and flaky pastries 
  • Animated disney movies made after 1995 (Disney-Pixar excluded)
  • Soda

 

   This is a slightly condensed list. Am I less of a human being for not liking any of these things? Does this reveal something terrible about my childhood? Should I just jump of a bridge right now? If so, should  I put you in my will? Discuss.

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8 responses to “Things I Am Supposed to Enjoy, But Don’t

  1. The Lord of the Rings
    Graphic novels/comic books
    Cheese

    i think grah just divorced you

    • It’s ok, I’m out of the closet about disliking all of these things and he’s ok with it so far. We may have some issues when he tries to name our first child Frodo Sandman Cheddar Badger, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

  2. Let’s begin

    * Monopoly – I love board games. So do most of my friends. However, none of them like Monopoly. So I’m the loner in that situation, not you.
    * Arcades – they’re alright. I go to an arcade (meaning Mr. Gatti’s) biyearly at the most.
    * Video Games (Including arcade games, guitar hero, mario, anything). – I’m a fan. Doesn’t mean I play them more than a few times a year.
    * Miniature golf – it’s alright. One of those once-a-year things, though. I’m not very good.
    * Board games involving fake money or real estate or warfare – Have never played Risk, but otherwise, I’m cool.
    * The majority of movies with spectacular special effects – Same. They’re so trite and… insipid? They don’t have any substance. People don’t go to see a movie- they go to see special effects.
    * Thrillers (The movie kind. I like some thriller novels. – Me either
    * The Lord of the Rings – Still getting through the books, but I liked the movies.
    * Star Wars – I like them
    * Cheese – Yeah, okay, I like cheese, too.
    * Television Dramas – NOOP
    * Graphic novels/comic books – Yeah, eh. I don’t really get it. Archie, though. THAT I like
    * Riding a bike – LOVE BIKES
    * Alcohol – NOOP. Not for me.
    * Fantasy novels with characters whose names contain no vowels. – Yeah, generally not
    * Rich and flaky pastries – what, like croissants? I LIKE THEM
    * Animated disney movies made after 1995 (Disney-Pixar excluded) – Same.
    * Soda – SAME

    Okay, so this turned out more like a myspace survey than I intended. Anyway, I think you’re allowed to not like things. There are plenty of things other people don’t like that you do, I’m sure. Who gives a damn? Maybe your dislike of things you think most people do will start conversations?

    This comment turned out pretty crappy. Sorry about that.

    -Morgan

  3. Many of these pastimes are more often enjoyed by men than women. Imagine combining them into one evening – a bunch of guys playing Risk and eating cheese, then Guitar Heroing, then watching movies where stuff blows up, then enjoying delicate baked goods – all while they drink beer… well, add Lara Croft and I think you’ve just illustrated the ultimate male fantasy.

    As for the other dislikes, meh. We all have our preferences. I don’t like sugary cereal and absolutely hate Tweety Bird with a burning passion. To each his (her) own, I say! Call it diversity and feel like you’re doing a good thing.

  4. (sigh)… I think you’re in denial. 😉

    Ok, I can understand most of these (I don’t personally like video games, cheese or Monopoly much). But you don’t like soda? As an unlicensed, non-practicing psychologist, that makes me uneasy.

    Time to call Dr. Phil, eh? 😉

  5. Frodo Sandman Cheddar Badger is a great name. also Vodka Toy Story 2 Coke Skywalker-Badger.

  6. Haha, Adam. I was just about to say, “How the hell are you and Graham getting married again?”

  7. Wow, you’re *weird*. I’m not sure I can bring myself to talk to you again… that’s pretty shocking.

    Funnily enough, the alien thing was my explanation for things when I was a kid, because if I was an alien it would all make much more sense.

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