Remember that time I was really, really going to write two more Intellectual Evangelism blogs? Yeah, we’ll see if that happens anytime soon.
There are a lot of things I could blog about right now. I could write a lengthy explanation for my lack of updates- one of those annoying entries no one actually wants to read. I mean, you don’t really care why I haven’t been blogging. You’re already wasting your time reading this anyway. At this point I should just stop writing and tell you to go back to watching viral videos of dancing hamsters on YouTube or Facebook stalking or staring open-mouthed at your NaNoWriMo word document.
Speaking of NaNoWriMo, why the weird not-really-acronym? Are we so busy desperately pounding our computer keys in an attempt to attain enlightenment in the form of a 50,000 word novel-like composition that we can’t even take the time to pronounce “National Novel Writing Month”? I could use this space and your precious time to discuss my NaNoWriMo efforts but If you’re participating you don’t have time to be reading this anyway and if you aren’t participating you are very likely so sick of hearing WriMos (which is apparently what NaNoWriMo participants are called which doesn’t make sense to me but whatever) discuss their novels and how many words they have and how their characters are not behaving or turning out to be serial killers that you don’t want to hear me discuss my noveling. I won’t discuss how I’m epically behind on word count or how I’m really excited about my story but hate not being able to edit as I go. If you’re really that interested in my novel pursuits, you can read the synopsis here. The title’s almost certainly going to change, but I expect the general plot to stay in tact.
I could also write about the election. I’m not going to. Everything’s been said. The country is neither going to explode in apocalyptic doom or suddenly become the epitome of perfection and progress and happiness. Everything takes time. I said I wasn’t going to talk about it and really I’m not anymore. Done.
Oh wait. I am going to talk about something. For real.
Graham and I are engaged! There’s lots to say. I think I’m going to just write an “FAQ” about our engagement because people always have a lot of questions. Check back soon.
Also, I’m really happy with my life. I’ve got some promising prospects for my dance career, I’m working on my second novel, and decided to add another major to my degree. This is the way it works:
You are an English major. You like books and writing and talking about stories and literary criticism and “the other.” Books, by nature, tend to cover a broad range of subjects. They tell people’s stories. People’s stories are usually influenced by factors including culture, place of origin and religious tradition. So you decide to take a class about religious texts. Then you realize that this stuff is really interesting. Like, you get excited about doing your homework and going to class and stuff. Somehow, you find yourself in the academic advisement office declaring a religious studies minor. The more religious studies classes you take, the more you want to take. Soon your advisor notes that you’re taking so many Religion courses, you should just declare a double major and go all official and stuff. Great! Unfortunately, due to your school’s tiny size it doesn’t offer just a Religious Studies major. You have to major in Philosophy AND Religious Studies. So you somehow find yourself majoring in English, Philosophy & Religious Studies and ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO DO WAS READ BOOKS.
Be careful, kids. You could accidentally end up triple-majoring. Worse than that, you could find yourself triple majoring in equally USELESS subjects that you actually like! The horror! I can hear the gods of higher education moaning in horror and preparing to smite me for not picking a practical major that will help me acquire a 9-5 job, a two-car garage and skirt suits.
Wow, that was long. Sorry, but I told you way back in the first paragraph to go watch hamster videos.