Ways to Fail

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Sometimes, when you have no idea what to write and your job is to sit in an office and write all day, it’s best to just type some nonsense and appear as busy as possible. My favorite way to appear busy is to open various documents that look important (spreadsheets and charts are especially good for this) and highlight various portions of the document. You might also want to delete the information on these documents and promptly retype it.. Keep a notebook in front of you. After pretending to intently read the contents displayed on your screen, be they in the form of  a chart, word document or graph, jot something on your notebook as though you have just had a “Eureka!” moment by which you will save the company from impending doom. In reality, you will probably just be drawing a series of smiley-faces and stars. You might want to throw in a rainbow somewhere as well because, seriously, who doesn’t love rainbows?

When you finally realize what you want to actually write, you will probably end up finishing it far too soon. In your desperation to extend your one idea as long as possible you may find yourself writing a 7,000 word blog about promotional key chains. Another way to appear busy at work when your mind absolutely refuses to focus on the task at hand (like said blog about key chains) is to write a personal blog about your sudden lack of work ethic INSTEAD of working diligently on the blogs you’re being paid to write.

In my own defense, I DID write three blogs already today and they’re not just about key chains either. There’s one about promotional frizbees and stuff too. Good times.

God, I promise a real update is coming. Part 2 of “Intellectual Evangelism” maybe?

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