Some days, people make me happy. Things others do make my life a little better, if only temporarily. Today, for the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely happy for no reason having to do with my friends or other members of the human species. (Whether or not I might actually identify myself as a member of the human species is a blog for another day.) Happiness is a broad term. In general, I am pleased with my life. I’m neither lying crippled in a ditch in South America, nor spending my days stapling papers for a large, balding man with personal hygiene problems , nor Steve Vander Ark so I count myself blessed and lucky. I’ve held a successful 8 month relationship together for the first time in my life. Yes, this relationship is with the city of New York, but our love for one another is undying, even in times of great despair.
Cynicism is one of the greatest joys in my life. You know . . . when I smell flowers, I immediately look for the funeral. Today all of my cynicism must have evaporated in the rays of the previously elusive sunshine. I can find enjoyment in all kinds of weather depending on my mood, but this morning’s clear blue skies, balmy temperature and light breeze seemed to exist purely for my pleasure. Classes were canceled due to advisement so I strolled leisurely to school, stopping for an iced soy mocha with an extra shot of espresso and smiled the rest of the sixteen blocks to school.
Wait. Did I really just write “strolled leisurely . . . . smiled the rest of the sixteen blocks to school” like I’m writing some sort of campy, first-person narrative, tween fiction novel? Yes, I did. Damn it, sunshine, what have you done to my sarcastic and annoying wit?
To make a long, boring and dreadfully cheerful story a slightly less long, still boring and only moderately agonizingly cheerful story- I registered for classes in five minutes, officially became a Religious Studies minor and discovered I would only have to be at school twice per week next semester. Granted, I’ll be there all day, but the other five days of my week will be free for dancing, working, auditioning and complaining about the other two days of the week. Afterward, I took my books and notebook to central park to study and start work on my fifteen page term paper about the physicality of the Harry Potter community. For once, I know what I’m talking about while writing a paper and to be honest, it’s much more enjoyable, but also a little bit unnerving. I don’t know how to write about things I actually know about having spent years practicing the opposite.
Now I am a slightly tanner, slightly less cynical version of the happiest version of myself. Don’t worry- I’m manic. By this time tomorrow I’ll probably be cursing the world and pretending to cut myself in the corner with a plastic spork.
Unless you are in a war zone, a dingy swamp or Antarctica with no clothes on, I hereby command you to go outside and play. The sun needs a friend.